The World of the Healer

The healers have all left our world.
We had them once….healers of the spirit
Nurturers of souls….
Those who blessed us and made our hearts function.
I want to bring them back — but I cannot find them.
Why are there ones who think they do not need the healing care
Of gentle hands and accepting words?
Our hearts are alone…we are afraid…we do not allow ourselves
To speak our inner worries and doubts.
We fear the judgement and intolerance of those whom we love
And the criticism and rejection of those with whom we have no relationship.
If we had a healer, we would have a bridge of hands:
The healer holding my hand and also one of your hands.
In this way, we’d know each other’s thoughts, feelings, sorrows and triumphs.
We would know how not alone we are — we would know that we are never alone.

©2015 Frances Ann Osborne

Wisdom Descending

Wisdom descending from the sky…
The sound of Orpheus speaking…
Waiting, eternally, for the undiscovered.
What you reveal to me I shall never forget.
Very often I do not know what I know
Until I speak it — and my words come out whole and sure —
As if I knew what I knew all along.
It’s like magic falling from the starry night.
It’s thunder from the clouds.
It’s the Universe speaking in its own language.
©2015 Frances Ann Osborne

The Twinkling Memory

Have patience. It will come back — that which is forgotten will return.
You will see it very miniscule, a dot in the horizon.
Move towards it. It moves towards you.
The foreverness of its approach …. it is too slow ….
And not clearly seen ….
What makes this remembrance twinkle in and out?
To be closer is not clearer….
To be further is not more clouded.

©2015 Frances Ann Osborne

Sakshi, “The Observer”

In the yoga classes I have been going to, the teacher keeps mentioning “The Witness” so I looked it up. From Wikipedia:

Sakshi or Sākśī (Sanskrit: साक्षी) means – ‘observer’, ‘eye-witness’ or the ‘Supreme Being’ or the ‘ego’.[1] In Hindu philosophy, the word, Sākshī or ‘witness’ refers to the ‘Pure Awareness’ that witnesses the world but does not get affected or involved. Sakshi is beyond time, space and the triad of experiencer, experiencing and experienced; sakshi witnesses all thoughts, words and deeds without interfering with them or being affected by them, other than sakshi there is nothing else in the entire universe.

This sounds like Panentheism to me (which is where I think am on the theism scale) and so I looked up Panentheism to make sure, and sure enough:
from Wikipedia

Panentheism: Like Pantheism, the belief that the physical universe is joined to a god or gods. However, it also believes that a god or gods are greater than the material universe. Examples include most forms of Vaishnavism.

Wow. Maybe I am getting closer to figuring out what I am spiritually! (Though I do not think I would ever consider converting to Hinduism) I consider the Universe to be a deity, or at least deity-like but it’s not involved, it’s non-moral or perhaps has its own agenda that I do not fathom. It’s good to know that other religions have defined something that I have been working out inside of myself.

Forgotten Roses

If we were to speak again, we would  both reminisce about the things we neglected to do for each other.

We all know what love remembers and what love forgets.

But you and I have not forgotten each other — no, we have not forgotten each other at all

The blood red is the color of our heartbreak, the delicate leaves of our pain, the thorns of our anger.

What is the nature of our forgiveness?

We have not paused to analyse that at all, nor examine it.

All we can notice is the flower that is difficult to grow, hard to preserve, and treasured in its death.

©2015 France Ann Osborne

The Mist’s Door

A mist descended today,
a low lying cloud.
Cold — rainy — sad.
Struggling to wake up, to shed this grogginess that I feel.
Eyes are puffy. Heart is puffy. Feeling the weight of the atmosphere upon me.
Breathing is heavy and slow.
This kind of day is a closed door — locked — the key thrown away.

copyright 2015 Frances Ann Osborne

The Missing Truth

Let’s discuss truth.
Let’s talk about the things we refuse to mention or the things we avoid.
Whether we say the truth or not.. we still notice it, we recognize it, we internalize it.
We hope that if we look away, the truth will not be noticed — it will disappear into the void.
I try the forgetfulness road, the never looking back, in the hopes that the truth disappears with the sun.
I want to recreate a NEW truth each morning with arriving sun.
There’s an honesty I long for, a radical honesty, a deep truth that is touchable.
Please say to me that you long for the same thing — the truth that is found and in front of us.

©2015 France Ann Osborne

What is it like to be a writer?

What is it like to be a writer?
To be a writer is akin to dreaming constantly,
to perpetually engage the mist of creativity.
One sees — and is seen — imperfectly.
There is always the hidden darkness that bubbles and ferments
the odd connections.
It is to be misunderstood and mysterious.
One is forever lost going down forest paths,
forgetting to lay the crumbs that lead you back home.

©2015 Frances Ann Osborne

You want me to feel good about myself?

You want to make me feel good about myself?
Tell me that you love all my books…
Tell me that you love me for my mind….
Tell me I have a fabulous child….
Tell me you think my cats are the best ones you have ever seen…
Tell me you’re grateful I’m liberal and non-judgemental…
Tell me you value my friendship…
Tell me you are happy that I want to be healthy and fit…
Tell me you want to come over and hang out with me just for the heck of it….

You want me to feel bad about myself?
Tell me I look sooo much better now that I’ve lost all that weight (because I was so ugly before)….
Tell me you like my new clothes (because secretly you hated all my old ones)
Tell me over and over that I’m shrinking (because I was gargantuan before)…
Tell me that surely I’ll get a boyfriend now! (because my value resides in having a partner or being sexually attractive)….

How does a person like to be appreciated? How do they like their friends to express their friendship?

What are people REALLY like on the inside? There’s only one way to find out!!! Get to know what they are thinking and feeling! If you are reading this right now, you are on my friends list and I would love nothing better than to hang out with you some afternoon and get to know you — really get to know you, what you are thinking and feeling. What’s your history? What’s in your heart? And I hope, deeply and sincerely, that you would love to spend a few hours doing the same with me.

What Path are YOU Walking?

“Never talk bad about someone who is walking a path in life that you were once on yourself. Even if it wasn’t the exact path, you had your version. Learn to pray for the hurting and those who struggle. Be a line of hope. Some paths are longer than others, with more hills to climb.”

This encapsulates my devotion to the UU First Principle. It is a reminder that people walk a road all their own that is similar to yours, but exactly the same. It’s the human commonality we have — this traveling on unique, humbling, glorious, painful, rocky, muddy, smooth highway we call life. Whenever I think others have a perfect life, I have to remind myself that what I see on their outside is not what is going on inside of them. Just because they *seem* to have it all doesn’t mean they really do, nor does it mean they haven’t been experiencing their own anguish.

Conversely, when I have seen deeply troubled or mentally ill people, I refuse to speak badly of them. I haven’t gone down their road. I have NO IDEA what it’s like to be deeply mentally ill or delusional. Online, I see people making fun of those who display “crazy thinking”. They get jumped on and treated badly. I hate that. It’s bullying and marginalizing. Having been bullied as a child, I’m really sensitive to that.