Doing this kind of thing takes work and patience. It is not an instant solution, nothing is an instant solution and oftentimes true work involves transforming yourself. This is the source of working on yourself. Opening your roads means opening yourself to all kinds of possibilities, including the possibility that you done wrong and need to make amends and change.
Ask for feedback! (WARNING: SCARY THING TO DO!!!) As much as we all attempt to improve, we will always have blind spots. Asking for feedback gives us what I think of as being “nuanced perspective.” Each person you ask will have their own take on things, their one perspective that might be similar to other perspective but nuanced according to their experience and perspective of you. Some people to approach will be TRUSTED friends, family, colleagues, boss, or even acquaintances. I think that when you ask a particular person, you will know what kind of nuance they will have. If you don’t — well, I guess DON’T ASK THEM — or FIGURE OUT THEIR NUANCE (that might be a prerequisite for getting to know them better)
“It’s not just about finding the right person — it is about being the right person.” Oh, truer words never spoken! This is the hardest of all. How do you be the right person? And I am not talking about romantic “rightness.” That actually might be the last thing I would talk about.
How about rightness for a job, for being a friend, for being a wife/husband, for being a parent, for -fill in the blank here.- Being the right person….such a journey….such an evolvement. How do I be a “right person”? And there are so many ways of being a “right person.” I.e. being a right person for me, a right person for a family member, a right person for a friend, a right person for society.
I am slowly discovering that loving friendship and finding connection depends on me taking good care of myself. When I keep myself in order, when I care about my health, when I care about my emotional state, when I care about my ethics and philosophy…people notice. They see me as being grounded and reliable, two qualities I value most….well I value them most right after I value HUMOR — which perhaps I value most of all.
Laughter is, after all, the best medicine!
To be called earthy or grounded might be the highest compliment you could make to me. I want to be that. I strive for it. Please — not saying at all that I am 100% successful. (Next time you and I have lunch together….ask me about my emotional meltdowns, hahahahahaha) ***Hint, ask me out to lunch, I would love that.***
Posted from Austin, Texas